Over the summer, David gave me a packet of Hemp Agrimony seeds (Eupatorium canabinum) to start under my grow-light at home. He wanted to get a few plants in the ground before the fall, hoping they might flower next summer so we could make the essence. I admit, I didn’t start this project as soon as I probably should have. By the time I finally planted the seeds, it was early August - not the best moment to grow anything new, but I figured we’d still have enough time to plant a few in the garden before a frost. I put a full tray of little cups under the light, watered them all and waited.
A few weeks went by. I watched the dirt for any signs of things germinating. Nothing happened. I started to wonder if maybe the seeds were old or the grow-light situation wasn’t optimal for Hemp Agrimony.
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Here’s what we say about the Hemp Agrimony essence on the Delta Gardens website:
Enhances the awareness of the interconnectedness of all things through the heart; eases feelings and perceptions of aloneness and disconnectedness
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Around the time I planted the seeds, it just so happens that I was going through a spell of feeling a bit isolated, myself. Like a lot of people, I'd spent much time alone during the pandemic - but even before that, I'd evolved into a more solitary version of myself. My energy levels over the years have been up and down because of lingering Lyme disease, and this has certainly impacted my relationships. I haven't always had the energy to be social - to visit with friends and family or meet new people.
I say all of this because…it didn’t escape my notice that the energetic signature of the plant I was trying to grow (unsuccessfully) perfectly matched my emotional landscape of the moment.
After more than a month, I wondered if I should maybe throw out the cups of soil, but for some reason (hope springs eternal!), I didn’t do that. I kept watering, and I kept turning on the light.
In my own life, I decided that I wanted to direct more energy into creating a fuller community. I got in touch with people I hadn’t talked to in a while. I asked friends to get together. I practiced being in the world - even just taking a walk around town or running errands - with more of an open heart.
One morning in early October, I went into the room where I keep the grow-light, and I was surprised to see a tiny sprout in one of the pots. Something was actually growing after all this time. I thought: okay, here we go! Things are rolling now!
Only...that first push out of the dirt didn’t continue. For a couple of weeks, this little thing didn’t grow even a millimeter more. I tried to intuit what it might need and got a sense that it wanted real sunlight, so I placed it in a bright window. I gave it a fertilizer that we use in the garden. I talked to it, I played music for it.
Meanwhile, my first efforts to renew and deepen connections with people in my life went as these things sometimes do. After a first flurry of desire and activity, I lost momentum for a variety of reasons. Weirdly, it didn’t occur to me to actually TAKE the Hemp Agrimony essence. Why is that? I don’t think I’m alone in this. We all have our blind spots. Sometimes the most obvious solution isn’t all that obvious…which is why working with a practitioner (even if you are one, yourself) is often a helpful thing to do.
It’s early December now, and the Hemp Agrimony plant, though still small, is growing. For real. It weathered an infestation of fruit flies, and its first leaves are beginning to develop.
How and when did things change? I actually noticed a shift in the plant - and in me - around the time I started making a conscious effort to connect…with myself…as a starting point for all other connections.
Each morning, before I do anything else, I check in with my own wishes and needs for the day ahead and for my life in general. I jot down a few simple actions that I’d like to take in the direction of those wishes/needs. Experimenting with this practice has been orienting, and it’s helped me fill up my own well. I feel like I’m in a better place to extend outward - to begin cultivating connections from a state of fullness rather than lack.
I'm hoping to keep the Hemp Agrimony inside through winter and transplant it in the garden when it warms up. In the meantime, I’ll be pondering the unusual mirroring that's cropped up with this plant. Is it a coincidence that the plant's area of influence happened to coincide with my emotional state - or that the plant finally grew when I started attending to my own needs? Most likely, yes. But I also wonder how the energies of two living things influence one another...and how these connections might translate into an essence. More on this come summer!
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